I used to think that sleep was the final destination for relaxation. I mean, how much more relaxed can you get than being unconscious? However, just several months ago, I was surprised to find that I could reach a state of conscious relaxation that felt like a cool, soft balm throughout my entire system while wide awake.
I lay on my couch and listened to the audio of a woman talking in the first person. She said, “Brain, thank you for being on high alert and trying to protect me. But now you can calm down. You can rest. You are safe now. You are safe. I am safe.”
Ahhhh. I am safe! What a wonderful thing for my body to fully experience. I felt my brain and body stand down, release their guard, and be trusting of the present moment that I was protected and no threat was around me (or within me).
As some of you may or may not know, I had a condition called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for over four years. Through varying healing modalities, I was able to take baby steps as well as long strides in regaining health. But the final piece of the puzzle for me was to signal to my nervous system that it was completely safe. It was then that my body could finish the healing process.
I wasn’t healed instantly by one meditation or one signal of safety, but over the course of several months, I felt my brain and body release their tight grip and loosen up and surrender to the ability to self-heal.
If I could have read my own blog post back when I was in the thick of my illness, I’m not sure I would have believed myself. You’re telling me that my mitochondrial dysfunction, positive antinuclear antibody test (autoimmunity), unrelenting fatigue, and brain fog can be fixed with relaxing? Pfft!! I’ve tried relaxing! It’s all I want to do, in fact! There’s way more going on in my body than just an unrelaxed nervous system… right?
Well, I’ve been learning and experiencing that much of my illness could be traced back to worry, fear, and an overactive mind. Thoughts such as, “My body is broken!” and “There’s no way out!” constantly swirled in my brain. My brain would regularly, subconsciously, check in with my body to see what was wrong. Achy joints and muscles? Something is wrong. Shortness of breath? Something is wrong. Brain fog? Something is wrong. Waking up after 10 hours of sleep and still feeling tired? Something is wrong. Heart palpitations? Something is wrong. Horrible fatigue after physical activity? Something is very, very wrong!!! And so, my brain was CONSTANTLY on high alert. And who could blame it? I was certainly experiencing those symptoms, and they were very concerning! Unfortunately, this became a positive feedback loop (positive meaning a cycle that perpetuates itself), and my symptoms essentially produced more symptoms. My brain would signal to my immune system, nervous system, and all other systems to be on high alert and ultimate defense because something was wrong that needed to be fought!!! And this produced more symptoms (I mean, who wouldn’t be fatigued with all systems in high gear at all times?)
Once I bought into the idea that this whole condition was subconsciously perpetuated, I was able to bring to consciousness these thoughts that were unhelpful to my healing. I noticed that my attention would be directed to my body and symptoms every few seconds. It was wild to see how, literally and metaphorically, pathological my thoughts had become. I was like a broken record. No wonder I was feeling run down! My brain was working so hard throughout the day, checking in on my body all the time– and getting worried when something seemed off (which was always!).
I have to be honest; trusting in the process of daily meditation and talking to myself that all was well in my body was a huge practice of faith. I felt I had no grounding to stand on, and for the first month or so, I felt like I was lying to myself. But I had already employed every biological avenue I could think of in terms of nutrient repletion, dietary changes, and herbal remedies, and this felt like I had nothing to lose because I had been skating along rock bottom for so long.
It has turned out to be one of the most enriching, worthwhile practices I have ever involved myself in, and I plan to employ it to some extent for the rest of my life. I learned all this through a “brain retraining” program I joined online. This program has daily meditations and a practice to signal safety (which includes self-authored visualizations, past and future, of a calm, healthy, healed body and mind). The meditation and brain retraining take about an hour per day. But boy, this hour has seeped into all minutes and seconds of my life, offering me more restorative sleep, a more positive outlook, calm breathing, and a renewed sense of wellness, and many of my symptoms have been lessened and have resolved.
There are several brain retraining programs online, and I have only experienced one of them, so I can’t necessarily recommend one over the other. If you’re interested, I encourage you to research them (by googling “brain retraining programs”) and choose the one that resonates most with you. Many programs have free trials.
Below is a link to a free resource that helped me understand how chronic illness is related to an overactive brain and nervous system. This channel also has auditory practices to listen to and relax to.
https://www.youtube.com/@happyandfreehealing
How can you signal to your brain and body that you are safe right now?
- Listen to relaxing music
- Take 5 slow, deep breaths
- Give yourself a hug
- Smile
- Go into nature
- Let the sun shine on your face
- Speak to yourself that you are safe and can surrender
- Listen to a guided meditation
I highly recommend that you incorporate even a small relaxation process each day, whether that’s a daily 10-minute meditation or something more. Consistency is absolutely key, and you may not feel the full benefits for weeks or even months.
But what do you have to lose?
What do you have to gain?